Ok so… you all come to dance for different reasons right, whether its confidence, to train or for the social side, there is a reason WHY you are all here. There’s also a reason which is way way deeper than you might be letting on… keep reading. At a certain point in life, we as individuals feel lost. We don’t know where we are going and can lose all confidence in ourselves and our own ability. We get side-tracked by other things going on in our lives… we have all been there (trust me I’m a tough cookie and I have too) I promise, these things can get the better of us ALL sometimes.
If you don’t know the reason you are at dance, you will find your thoughts constantly drifting away into la la land during training. You will feel yourself getting frustrated because you can’t pick anything up, and you will feel completely trapped in this vicious cycle in your head, wondering WHY. You’ll end up thinking about the boy who hasn’t replied to your text or what you’re going to be having for dinner that night or even things going on at home rather than what YOU are paying to do and invest your time and energy in to actually do something positive for YOU – dance.
Without an end goal, you have no destination. The goal can be as little or as big as you like. And it really really doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes I have to take a day off and seriously step back behind the stress and think WHY AM I DOING THIS. It takes one conversation with myself or one of my dancers to flip my mind on it’s head and in 3-2-1 I’m back in the zone. I’m mindful when my energy starts to decrease. I’m mindful when I’m not feeling 100% myself but I need to teach hundreds of students and keep them engaged. I’m mindful when I can’t get my words out. But guess what, the key here is being MINDFUL. Know when you need to take a step back and reflect. Know when you need to reward yourself mentally for your small wins (yes, they matter too). And at THAT point is when you ask yourself ‘WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN?’.
Remember why you started. What is your big why?
- to improve in confidence when I’m at the club and reduce anxiety
- to feel sexy in front of my partner and be proud of my body
- to take away the awkward feeling when everyone is dancing around me
- to become a professional performer and set up for dance college
- to get my self esteem back after being told I wasn’t good enough
- to prove my family wrong who told me I’d never make it
- to do something for myself as my new years resolution
- to challenge myself mentally and physically and take on a new hobby
- to get over an ex partner who took me to rock bottom
- to make new friends and actually be in a space with genuinely supportive people
- to free my mind from the sh*t going on at home
- to lose weight in a fun way which takes my mind away from the stressors on the outside
- to be myself
These are just a few, and trust me I’ve heard it all. But be honest with yourself, what is your big why?
I get this is difficult to do. I get this isn’t the clearest of things. I get it’s not normal for us to take a step back and work on ourselves, but take it from me. Working on and investing in myself is the best thing I ever did, financially, emotionally, physically, socially… working on me made me who I am today.
So, to help you stay in the zone, I have put together a couple of steps you can take that will help you remember WHY you started:
- STEP 1: Create a mood board: Starting with…. I dance because… then put together a mood board stating ALL the whys, wants, reasons, positives, negatives, friendships, ANYTHING. Write it ALL down. Science shows we have more impact when physically writing so please, do that. When you know why, the journey will be easy, and each individual class counts as a part of that journey. Look at the mood board every day before you come to class, and it will reinforce all of the reasons why you want to dance to set you in the zone.
- STEP 2: Delete the negativity: There are positive vibes in our classes ALWAYS! So if you have had a bad day, before you come to the studio just shake it all out and say to yourself, ‘I’m ready lets go, I’m, ready to leave my shit at the door from NOW!’. Then take the positivity you gained with you after class and apply it outside the studio too. Don’t let ANYONE get in your head and bring you down! Your space is your space, your time is your time and again, don’t forget why you started.
- STEP 3: Remember that is ok to be a little selfish sometimes: You come to dance for you right? So why are you thinking about your friend who needs relationship advice or what’s happening at work? Block it out. This is YOUR TIME! Don’t waste class time by thinking about other things, that’s why you are here, for YOU, NOT THEM, YOU. That person who made a bitter comment, or said some nonsense on Instagram (their fantasy IG isn’t real life btw but that’s a whole different blog in itself), just bin it. Seriously, who are they and does it even matter? Probably not. So bin it. There’s room in your mind for a mental trash can ;).
- STEP 4: Haters? Block them: People are always going to hate when they see that you are doing well. It’s just jealousy I can guarantee you. So if you see people commenting hurtful things on your posts, just ignore it. Don’t rise to it. Just keep doing what makes you happy, keep smiling and f*ck the haters. Don’t let them bring you down.. just let them see that you are winningg! You aren’t dancing for anyone else, so why do you care what other people think?! I DON’T AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU! Succeed in silence… they’ll see.
SO after all that, please, before anything else, you have to always remember WHY you dance. For YOU. No one else. So come to dance and think about you! It doesn’t make you selfish or a bad person. Everything else can wait, once you are there, just do you, own your sh*t and kill it.
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